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i was raining yesterday I was raining yesterday.
The hope in me shone like the sun, but there was water between it and my face.
I saw you and the sun tumbled to the surface.
You were the only face I wanted to see,
and you didn't disappoint.
You were so beautiful,
just like I remembered.
You smiled at me and played my songs.
Your voice filled my ears and the smell of you filled the car.
I was easily overloaded.
My eyes did not know what to do.
I was so happy to see you,
and sad my visit was so short.
I began to rain silently.
I would know your touch anywhere.
You accidentally brushed against me -
arm to arm -
involuntarily, I shut my eyes
my breathing and heart rate slowed
everything fell into place.
The touch ceased quickly
and the peace that had washed over me left.
I was empty again.
I gravitated instinctively towards the space between your neck and sh
you break my goddamn heartYou break my goddamn heart
reblogging some tumblr post
about how you feel like the least loved friend
when you're the friend I love the most
I ignore it, because obviously that applies more to me.
If I pretend it didn't happen, it's not real.
You break my goddamn heart
coming home with a panic attack story
and I shrug it off as a one-time event
because you're not allowed to feel that way
if I pretend it didn't happen, it's not real.
You break my goddamn heart
love poem for a drifterHave you ever loved a drifter?
One who changes by the second.
One who never stays tied down
and whose “I love you”s sound like promises she can't keep.
Have you ever loved a drifter?
Found yourself falling into the spaces between her fingertips and the laptop keys
forgot yourself in the poetry she breathes
as you forget to breathe, yourself, at the sight of her driftwood scars.
My drifter came upon me on a winter's day
and on this summer's night, I feel her far away
tasting the kisses I can't give her on another's tongue
and feeling the happiness I can't give her in this early august smoke.
I fell in love with my drifter incrementally
giving her my love in installments
before losing it all to her drunken embrace and slurred poetry
and tying my heart to the spaces where our fingers fit together.
My drifter is not my own
she belongs to no one, except herself
I am not th
lessonsYour father will teach you that everyone leaves
whether you care or not
and pretending to care doesn't work the way you think it does.
Your mother will teach you that nobody will love you
no matter how hard you try to make them
and nobody will ever say the words out loud and mean them
there is always something in it for them.
Your stepfather will teach you that standing up for yourself gets you in trouble
but staying silent does as well.
And you can never trust adults because
they always make it worse.
Your sister will teach you that being abused doesn't always bring two people closer together
very often it divides people and puts them on opposite sides of an unwinnable war
and escaping doesn't change things
distance is often the only remedy.
Your first 'best friend' will teach you to never use those words
because people don't value you as much as you value them.
Sometimes people like you because you amuse them
then they throw you away after getting you hooked on their parents prescrip
it's more productive than if i were to be happyThey told me I was trying to get attention
so I covered my scars in bright red lipstick so that every single one shone like a neon sign, saying,
'here's the crazy girl, pay attention to me or i'll hurt myself some more'
and paraded across campus reveling in how they all barely covered their disgust and discomfort with the aversion of their eyes
and laughed because they didn't get that i'd finally snapped.
my parents are going to kill meMy parents are going to kill me.
For not getting the grade
for not doing the chore
for not being right where they want me to be
for eating too much
for not eating enough
for sleeping too much
for not sleeping enough
for talking too much
for not talking enough
for talking too loudly
When I was eight, my then-stepfather picked up a broom.
He'd already been yelling at me for two hours.
Somehow I was able to drown out the sound of my pounding heart underneath all the words I was screaming back.
I told him to leave me alone as I sat on the bed.
So he left, and got the broom.
The sound of him breaking it in half on the edge of the bed was enough to send me rocketing back into the headboard.
'trapped' was the first word to enter my head.
My knobby knees knocked against each other and then against the bed posts and I remember thinking it was like they had become percussionists, which was a word i'd just learned in a book.
When he swung the broken broomstick at me, I
eradicate meI'm like a disease
I spread my insecurities like plague
and infect the innocent with my sadness.
Before you come into contact with my contagion
before you come down with the symptoms
you should get vaccinated against me.
You should eradicate me.
off the beaten trackNothing you could do to me would hurt me half as much
as what you do to yourself when you're alone.
I've lived in hell
been broken to nothing
but the scars under my skin burn me less than the scars that rest on top of yours.
You can show me where it hurts
without leaving a map
I can find my way inside without the red and white paths
i'd rather not take the beaten track, if that's quite alright.
I'd rather you tore my skin away like wrapping paper than attack your own with those razor blades
i'd rather you bled me dry than spill another drop of your blood.
Everything you do to yourself
you should do the same to me, except so much worse.
For every bruise, you should beat me
For every cut, you should stab me
go ahead, I can take it
i've had so much worse.
Because the only way you can hurt me is by hurting yourself.
Darling, Don't You DareTo the girl who skips dinner,
Because her reflection hurts more than
To the boy who wears sweatshirts
On hot summer days,
Because he doesn’t want his mother to cry over his
To the boy who weeps uncontrollably
Until he falls asleep,
Because it’s the only way to escape into his
To the girl who spends her days in her bedroom,
Because the dark is more peaceful than her
To the child who gets angry,
Because no one understands.
To the teens who self-harm,
To the ones in recovery,
To the ones that just can’t do it anymore…
For the girl who skips meals
And the boy who wears sweatshirts,
For the boy who cries,
The girl who hides,
And the ones who just can’t do it anymore.
You’ve come this far.
Don’t you dare give up on it, now.
I am the daughter of a sailor.There is pure sea water
rushing through my veins
& my vocabulary can be
just as colorful.
how do I begin to tell you
we all have jungles growing
in our chests?-
by human hands?
I like to pretend
it’s Draco residing
in this chest of mine-
clogging my lungs,
I have forgotten
how to write
or anything with a shred
I have no space left within myself
for celestial, fire breathing dragons-
because I realize now
when I look in the mirror,
I do not see my father.
I screamMy scream is loud.
My scream is honest.
My scream is desperate.
My scream is filled with truth.
Why would nobody hear me?
You're Not DepressedDepression isn’t what you think it is.
You’re just sad.
If you and your boyfriend or girlfriend just broke up, you’re not depressed.
If you are longing to be with that one girl or boy, you’re not depressed.
If you really want to meet that one celebrity, you’re not depressed.
If you haven’t gotten a text from any of your friends all day and want to talk to someone, you’re not depressed.
If you cried in the shower last night because you want that guy to be your boyfriend,
Or sat on your bed last night with your face in your hands wanting to be with that one girl,
You’re not depressed.
Until you have hated yourself,
Felt no self-worth,
Felt like you’d never amount to anything
And are useless,
You want to lie in bed all day and do nothing but think,
Think you are never good enough for anyone,
Don’t deserve anyone,
Lost any interest in drawing, writing, reading, singing, etc…
You don’t want to be around anyone, just by
dearly belovedthese days
your name has been slipping
in and out of my rib cage
my heart forgets to beat.
how even after all these months i still
don't want to believe that
you're dead. how during the
first couple of weeks i prayed
to a god i didn't believe in and begged to know
if death tasted sweet to you. how once,
when the monsters in my head
didn't let me sleep, i
wrote you three poems and then
you were a supernova that
lit up my life for
a few radiant moments before,
like all good things in this
you came to an end.
the sinner in me hopes that you have wings now.
but i think that,
most of all,
i hope you no longer
remember what pain
Let me dieGo away
Leave me alone
And let me die
Of this world
I don't want to live
Because there's no light
At the end of this tunnel
So I'll just end my life
Don't try to stop me
And we'll meet again
On the other side
Outside this dark tunnel
I am afraid of monsters like you.Bones and sinew cling
to the part of me
that is not human,
the part of me that
Your lips are ready
to pounce mine when
you lace my neck with
the collar of hope.
It hangs too tightly.
Only GirlsOnly Girls can suffer from weight loss,
can cut and cut until their blood is all gone.
Only girls can cry out their angry emotions,
and watch them pool from their eyes like the raging oceans.
Emotions are qualities reserved for women women only,
without them, what men would bask in their glory.
Only women can abort an unwanted fetus,
when a man mourns his lost child, he's nothing but a bigoted sexist.
Only girls can wear their hair long,
put on cake loads of make up, and twirl their hips to a song.
Strip down in public to your bra and underwear,
only girls will get angry when their objectified by eyes everywhere.
Only girls can swallow the pills,
because boys are never depressed, they only grow ill.
Only a woman can claw at her defenseless husband,
and when he tries to defend himself, he's considered little to nothing.
Cry 'sexual-harassment' in the midst of your workplace,
only girls can get away with this, when nothing was done to them in the first place.
Abuse is impossible if it ha
Wrists.Wrists are not made,
To be cut up by cold blades.
Blood was meant to stay in your veins,
Not to be drained.
From your body,
You're stronger than that,
I know a person can only take,
Until they break.
And you have your doubts,
And when you lay in bed,
The pain is all you think about.
But you're so much more,
Than your heart aches.
So much more,
Than your demons.
Even if you feel,
Like your dying,
And you are through with trying,
Because all you've been doing lately is crying.
I want you to know,
That no, you're not alone.
And you re going to survive.
Please just drop your knife,
Because you're going to,
Make it out alive.
some assembly required:The empty spaces between my fingers that you once filled
I now fill with concrete dust and rusty poetry
they're not enough to keep me from falling.
You always were.
I'll always take this with me
the heat of my first love
that was dry like a desert because the pre-packaged kisses were left in the bag
I took a look at the instructions and found them too complex
too much assembly required.
But you perfectly assembled my first true smiles
and still push the button every so often to see it again.
I don't know how to go on without you, my little mechanic.
You were always the practical one.
Always the strong one.
My homing mechanism is programmed to return to the night you held me and said you'd never leave.
Without the safety of that, i'm just lost.
Keep in Touch!
scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More